The famous actress Kathryn Hepburn once said, when asked
how she became so fascinating, “I only seem fascinating –
the trick is to make other people feel fascinating, then they
think you’re the fascinating one”.
The Holiday Season is a great time to practice this art;
most people want to talk about themselves – their year, their
problems, their accomplishments.
When you’re at a Holiday party or gathering, resist the
temptation to hold forth about yourself (even when asked,
most of the time, “how are you?” is simply an automatic greeting, not a genuine request for information)
Instead, turn the conversation around, and ask the otherperson all about them. What they say isn’t as important as the fact that you’re listening. And voila! They may end up thinking you’re the fascinating one!
The art of Influence can be learned; use the power tools of attentiveness and observation.
ATTENTIVENESS = Doing it with Empathy
- Listen with an open mind
- Cultivate a genuine interest in others
- Learn to ask smart questions
OBSERVATION – Doing it With Intuition
- Tune in to what is unsaid. Body language may be even telling than the words that are spoken.
- Watch for body postures and gestures, as well as voice patterns
And who knows, you may indeed find that you are even more fascinated by someone, once you have truly listened!
